Saturday, January 29, 2011

A Word

"It's simply a matter of doing what you do best and

not worrying about what the other fellow is going to do."

~ John R. Amos ~

Thursday, January 27, 2011

New Cover Art By Paul Spangler

Upcoming Book Has Title Change

I'm finally working on the ending of the new book. Just letting everybody know the tittle has been changed from Killer Cat to The Lost Slab. It should be released later this spring. Look for Updates.
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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Words of Wisdom

1.  A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
            Rodney Dangerfield
2.  After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together..
            Sacha Guitry
3. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
4.   I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
               Sigmund Freud
5.   The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.....
               Ogden  Nash

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Monday, January 17, 2011

Go Bears Beat the Packers

The Rising Cost of Health Care

Your Duck is Dead--

A woman brought a very limp duck into a
veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the

table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head
and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles,
has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied
the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I
mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left
the room. He returned a few minutes later with
a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked
on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put
his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet
with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it
out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with
a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on
its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled
out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as
I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. $150!" she
cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my
word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Monday, January 10, 2011

Words of Wisdom

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

Babe Ruth

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

Lyndon B. Johnson
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

Paul Horning
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."

H. L.. Mencken
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

George Bernard Shaw
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Benjamin Franklin
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

Dave Barry

W. C. Fields
Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.

Professor Irwin Corey
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group -Salvation in a can!

Leo Durocher
~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the" Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm:

"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

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